To my Dear

January 22, 2016

It's been terribly long since my last post. I don't know if people do read this, but hello if there is. (: Feeling real emotional now, and I think it may be my period coming. Instead of balling up in a corner and feeling upset over who-knows-what (I swear its the hormones), I've set my mind to being grateful for all that I have. And one of the best things that could have ever happen to me was meeting, you.

You are the light in my darkness, the rainbow in my storm. I made you a promise, and I plan to keep it. Because you mean so much to me.


This was our first pic together, 7 months ago. How time flies! I loved the pic on the left, but you liked the one on the right, so here's a compromise.

We talk about everything. Our fears, our daily lives, hopes for the future, and everything else. In a year and 10 months time, you'll be leaving for UK. We both have our fears, its a LDR. But I want to be optimistic about it. And you know that, I will still be here. Waiting for you to come back. If your fear really came through baby, remember the promise we made. I'm keeping mine.

In the meantime, I've been diligently saving up for the plane tickets to make it for your graduation there. I calculated. The money will only be for the plane tix, so I guess I will survive on bread and water when I'm there? New weight loss diet HAHA. 
I don't just want to be there to celebrate your joyful successes, but I also want to be your support when you're at your lowest. 

When you read this, you must be getting ready to ask me to buck up emotionally, or how am I gonna support you right haha.

Some relationships are toxic, so dependent on one party to keep things going and they fall apart in the end when one party caves in. Others could be distant and cold, with walls built around to protect themselves for fear of being hurt. 

You came, knocked down my walls and barricades. Taught me to trust and be open again, because communication is so so so essential in a relationship. It was a painful lesson, but one which I learnt the most from, and it is what will keep our relationship alive.

I no longer built walls around me when I'm with you. You know my deepest secrets and fears, you've been through the abyss of my heart, yet you chose to stay. 

Funny how when I first opened up to you, it was with the intention to scare you and keep you away. For once, I'm really thankful that it didn't keep you away, or there wouldn't have been Us.

Right now, its CRAY CRAY for you. 
You are swarmed with work, school and kayaking commitments, but you still strive to make time for me. Having to work full-time from 9-6, then rushing off for classes that last till 10pm on Thursday, and having to juggle kayaking commitments on the weekends (weekdays even), to me, you are AMAZING. I know I can't help you much with your stuff, and I suck at cheering you up. But I will keep on encouraging you in the way I know, and I never want you to have to choose between me, and anything else. NEVER, would I put in that position.

Your care and concern for me, made me feel terribly undeserving of your love initially. But you are like a gardener, showering me with your love, and all I can say is that I feel like the luckiest girl in the world. You never believe me when I tell you that haha. Carefree and unrestrained, I never feel drained with you. 
Around you, I'm the happiest. 

I don't know if you made it through the whole chunk of words above. Knowing you, you're probably wondering why on earth I wrote this, and bored to death by now hahahaha. But if you did, congrats baby!
You've come to the end of the post,and what I really want to say is 

I love you (:

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