Dreams and Photography

November 05, 2014

Things have not been going well for me and it is not easy having to face my problems. I hope that verbalizing my thoughts here may help me to put things into perspective and also serve as an outlet to let things out.

Recently, my relationships with my family members are strained and I find myself retreating more into my own head since I am unable to get away from them. It's not all bad because I started reflecting more on myself and pursuing my own interests to distract myself from it all.

Photography has always been one of my interests since young, ever since my dad let me play around with his work camera, a Canon Powershot S3 IS. Even though it was in Canon's compact camera range, I was fascinated by it's versatility and image quality. To me, the image quality was a thousand times better than the 3 megapixel Fujifilm Finepix camera that I was allowed to use. 

I was really over the moon when Pa gave me permission to use it (I think he only let me use it because there was a better camera to take photo of the factory parts haha) and I explored all the various features, reading up the manual guide (Yes, I can't believe I actually read it) to learn more about the features and how to use them. Along the way, I picked up the technical stuff, researched more on photography as a subject and of course, taking lots and lots of pictures of things that interested me.

I had tons of pictures of the skies and clouds - taken at different timings, different angles and of different composition. When I proudly showed them to my parents and relatives (when they came over), the only thing I got was,"Why do you take so many pictures of the clouds?" 

My excitement at showing them photos kinda deflated after that, but I started taking pictures of other things such as animals and flowers too because I was interested in them as well. That was when I started experimenting with macro mode and it was really interesting. (I love macro shots, except that my current DSLR now can only take close-up and I would need micro lenses..) Then when I finally got to showing it to my relatives again, they said,"Why don't you take photos of people?"

Truth to be told, the younger me got really annoyed and I rebutted that I prefer taking pictures without people in it. It was also partly due to the fact that my mum always made us really unhappy (forcing us to make poses that she liked and we don't, wearing a particular clothing, smiling for extended periods of time and ruining a moment by wanting things done her way) just to take photographs of us. And because of such unpleasant experiences, I had negative emotions associated to taking photos of people. (I've overcome that now haha) 

Even though I have always been interested in photography, I have always shied away from photo editing software like Adobe Photoshop. My reason? I have no idea how to use it. To me, Photoshop has always been this real complicated things that I never got to understand, and still confuses me today. 

However recently, when I was downloading software for some Adobe update, the pop-up had an option to download a Lightroom 5 trial as well and I thought, alright let's give it a try.

Right now, I having fun exploring Lightroom 5 and I'm learning a little more about it each time from watching tutorial videos and trying it out for myself (:

 The end results after editing one of my photos in Adobe Lightroom 5, taken using my Canon 100D

Some of my thoughts:
Deep inside, I always dreamed of working with animals, being a photojournalist and traveling the world, just wandering freely. 
But somewhere along the way, people tell you to get your head out of the clouds and that you are being too naive. While others just laugh and brush it away. 
Time passes by, responsibilities multiply and reality knocks you on the head telling you to wake up.
You keep your dreams to yourself, afraid of being laughed at, being put down by others again. You are afraid to try for fear of not being good enough. And is it even worth trying at all?

Alright, I feel slightly better after typing this post!

Happy Mid-week and have a great day everyone (:

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